The Sexy Teens Dilemma.
by Patrick T. Lo
You’re sitting in front of your television. You’ve just downloaded the latest episode of “Game of Thrones” because you don’t have HBO (or cable for that matter; You’re a modern person). Without warning, you hear your front doorknob plowing into the wall. The disturbance causes you to drop your remote control as your finger presses down on the play button. You realize that a house invader has kicked through your front door and entered your home. Your heart races. His sneaky footsteps tips and toes, as he creeps into your living room with a loaded gun. Behind him are four bawling teenagers sheepishly following along. You don’t know them personally, but you might have seen them around. You’re not sure. The house invader announces that if you don’t have sex with one of these kids, he will shoot you the face, which will subsequently scar these teenagers for life.
The four kids are:
1.) The Future Pulitzer Prize Winner: A sixteen year-old kid who everyone in your local community knows about. He’s the CEO of a successful tech start-up and was voted “Most Likely to be an Influential Politician” in his high school yearbook.
2.) The Bisexual Sexplorer: A fifteen year-old girl who’s favorite sex position is listed as one of her likes on Facebook. “I’m not a nymphomaniac” is her favorite saying whenever she goes down on guys. Or girls.
3.) The Internet Geek: A fourteen year-old boy who’s sporting a Reddit t-shirt. You’re not sure why, but you have a feeling — confidently so — that he’s a regular 4chan user and has seen myriad video clips featuring gore, rape, and odd fetishes. No one would consider him a hipster, but he calls himself one on the internet.
4.) The Thirteen Year-Old Virgin: A shy girl who has never encounter anything overtly sexual. She has probably never seen porn and does not plan to anytime soon.
The house invader aims his weapon at you and tells you to make a decision soon or the night ends in a tragedy. Then you realize one important fact: You’ve been waiting for the latest episode of “Game of Thrones” all week. It’s your favorite television drama since “The Sopranos” ended.
Dilemma:
Do you reach for your remote control so you can put the show on pause?
